cold feet

late last night, I realized I had the feeling of “getting cold feet” with moving in with him. from there, I tried to find the root cause..the relationship overall? maybe he isnt what I want. for forever. shouldnt i be nothing but excited? I can’t figure out if this feeling is worth noting, or if its just aftershocks of my mom’s viewpoint. or maybe it was just too late last night and my mind always wanders , in a bad way, at night.

love is a choice and I get that. but maybe I shouldn’t be choosing so early on? HA! there are definitely people out there that will think i am not “early” in age but u know what i mean right, reader??

for now, I love him but I wonder if my occasional doubts, feelings, and late-night musings are a product of any serious relationship..or the product of him being a fucking fucker and doing fuckin’ shitty things to our relationship not too long ago.

hmm the world may never know.