I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. He is too.
When he called me during the first day of our break (yea, I don’t think he understands the definition of a break), I could hear the exhaustion and stress in his voice. Despite not wanting to admit it, or maybe it’s just become second nature to him in his job, I could hear it.
I tried my best to be strong, and keep to my frustrations as to not let him off so easy. But I can’t help but feel for the guy. He’s tired, he’s going non-stop at work, and it’s not the friendliest “lets all support one another” type of environment that I’m used to working in.
Once I realized he called for nothing urgent, I told him we’re not supposed to be communicating with one another. He said he knew, but just wanted to know how my day went. Then I felt for him even more..but didn’t show it. I was curt and stuck to my original feelings for a break, and was loyal to that agenda. Even though I didn’t want to be. I wanted to comfort him and encourage him and support him.
But if I crumble so quickly, that would totally dismiss the message I’m trying to send, right? Right??!!? It doesn’t really feel right.
On one hand, I want to be there for him. On the other hand, I want him to realize how fucking shitty his job is. Hahah ok that’s harsh. I DO want him to realize that I should be a priority though.
From his perspective (or so I think)..I know he’s having difficulty balancing me and his job. It’s “temporary” since he is quitting in the new year. But I wonder, it might just be a personality thing. I admire hard-workers, but I don’t want to be with a workaholic.